Losing your friend.
You know and accept that when you bring a dog into your life that the odds are that he or she will pass away before you do, but it doesn't make it any easier when it eventually happens.
My first dog Pepper became ill suddenly in a matter of hours. We had no idea she had a tumour on her heart.
The day before she had been bounding around like a gazelle. The next day she suddenly collapsed in the heat of an extremely hot August bank holiday.
It is hard to have to make decisions when you are in a sense of shock or panic, however we made the decision to say goodbye when we heard the vet say that Pepper could be kept going on medication but would not be able to enjoy long walks anymore.
I am not in favour of keeping a beloved pet alive just for my selfish reasons.
Pepper loved her walks with a passion and it would be heartbreaking to watch her quality of life diminish.
We stayed with her whist she was put to sleep and left feeling cold and empty inside . The vile practicalities of payment at that time are something i can never quite forgive vets for, It seems inhumane to be asked for payment minutes after watching your pet die, there should be a better way.
That horrible silence in the car on the way home!
We had brought her home and spent a weird and surreal afternoon digging a spot for her in the garden. I remember even bursting into hysterical laughter at having to dig a bizarre dog shaped hole because we suddenly realised that her body had gone stiff. I think laughter is strangely normal in such circumstances and keeps you from just collapsing with grief.
When i did eventually cry; I couldn't seem to stop. There was such an empty space left in my day. It was easy to forget sometimes and automatically look at the places where she would normally sit .
If it is your only dog then there is also the loss of the daily walks and being able to meet and chat with other dog owners. It,s easy to become more isolated, this is probably why many people choose to replace their dog with a new one straight away. We didn't feel we could ever replace her. Instead we chose to fill our life with things we hadn't been able to do when she was alive such as holidays that were for just us humans, cinema, swimming and other activities that got us out of the house more. I even gave up smoking although the sense of loss of both cigarettes and dog nearly broke me.
Life goes on.
Over the next ten years, when faced with difficult times, I would still break into tears because I missed her companionship and comfort.
Looking back I wouldn't change our decision on ending it for her,or staying with her whilst she slipped away.
The one thing I do regret though is having her put to sleep on the vets floor with all those horrible antiseptic smells and other animals making noise. I wish we had put her into the car boot for the injection as she loved going out in the car. Or even better, taken her home so that she would be surrounded by familiar smells when the vet did the deed.
We have waited fourteen years to welcome another dog to our family but it was well worth waiting. Because such a long time has passed we have made the most of our dogfree time and know that we are now in the right head & heart space to enjoy being dog owners again, it also means that we do not compare him with Pepper.
I know too many people that get a new dog too soon and are then disappointed because that dog is nothing like the beloved one they have lost.
Maybe when one loses a much loved dog it is time to take stock and reflect on your life for a while.
AH
You know and accept that when you bring a dog into your life that the odds are that he or she will pass away before you do, but it doesn't make it any easier when it eventually happens.
My first dog Pepper became ill suddenly in a matter of hours. We had no idea she had a tumour on her heart.
The day before she had been bounding around like a gazelle. The next day she suddenly collapsed in the heat of an extremely hot August bank holiday.
It is hard to have to make decisions when you are in a sense of shock or panic, however we made the decision to say goodbye when we heard the vet say that Pepper could be kept going on medication but would not be able to enjoy long walks anymore.
I am not in favour of keeping a beloved pet alive just for my selfish reasons.
Pepper loved her walks with a passion and it would be heartbreaking to watch her quality of life diminish.
We stayed with her whist she was put to sleep and left feeling cold and empty inside . The vile practicalities of payment at that time are something i can never quite forgive vets for, It seems inhumane to be asked for payment minutes after watching your pet die, there should be a better way.
That horrible silence in the car on the way home!
We had brought her home and spent a weird and surreal afternoon digging a spot for her in the garden. I remember even bursting into hysterical laughter at having to dig a bizarre dog shaped hole because we suddenly realised that her body had gone stiff. I think laughter is strangely normal in such circumstances and keeps you from just collapsing with grief.
When i did eventually cry; I couldn't seem to stop. There was such an empty space left in my day. It was easy to forget sometimes and automatically look at the places where she would normally sit .
If it is your only dog then there is also the loss of the daily walks and being able to meet and chat with other dog owners. It,s easy to become more isolated, this is probably why many people choose to replace their dog with a new one straight away. We didn't feel we could ever replace her. Instead we chose to fill our life with things we hadn't been able to do when she was alive such as holidays that were for just us humans, cinema, swimming and other activities that got us out of the house more. I even gave up smoking although the sense of loss of both cigarettes and dog nearly broke me.
Life goes on.
Over the next ten years, when faced with difficult times, I would still break into tears because I missed her companionship and comfort.
Looking back I wouldn't change our decision on ending it for her,or staying with her whilst she slipped away.
The one thing I do regret though is having her put to sleep on the vets floor with all those horrible antiseptic smells and other animals making noise. I wish we had put her into the car boot for the injection as she loved going out in the car. Or even better, taken her home so that she would be surrounded by familiar smells when the vet did the deed.
We have waited fourteen years to welcome another dog to our family but it was well worth waiting. Because such a long time has passed we have made the most of our dogfree time and know that we are now in the right head & heart space to enjoy being dog owners again, it also means that we do not compare him with Pepper.
I know too many people that get a new dog too soon and are then disappointed because that dog is nothing like the beloved one they have lost.
Maybe when one loses a much loved dog it is time to take stock and reflect on your life for a while.
AH